The Integrated Masculine

Instant gratification has crept into our lives in ways we rarely question. Have the devices we cling to reshaped not only our daily habits—but also how we relate, succeed, and feel fulfilled? Has the very chemistry of our brains shifted how we evaluate relationships, measure success, and chase purpose?

The doom scroll. I’m guilty of it. I believe I’m mostly clean now, but I still catch myself scrolling aimlessly from time to time. The algorithm knows exactly what I like to see—and keeps feeding it to me. Over and over. Until suddenly, two hours have disappeared, the dishes didn’t clean themselves, and that washing never got put away.

It’s the penultimate tier of procrastination.

Lately, my guilty pleasure has been a local personality who walks around my city with a microphone, interviewing the most colourful characters he can find. It’s two things I love: people watching and quick-witted comedy. Except now, I don’t need to leave my bed to get this hit.

From Vine to TikTok: The content machine

As a millennial, this sort of thing didn’t really show up until my twenties—hello, Vine. What a time that was.

Now it’s Instagram Reels, TikToks, or YouTube Shorts. Content isn’t just measured by views or likes anymore; it’s measured by seconds. How long can you hold someone’s attention? If your video doesn’t hook within a few moments, most viewers are already swiping to the next.

Is there a correlation between this style of content and rising rates of attention disorders in children? I wouldn’t be surprised

COVID-19 changed a lot about how we live. And while many of these habits existed pre-pandemic, lockdowns rapidly accelerated their adoption. Food delivery apps. One-day shipping. On-demand everything.

We now live in what I call the “every now” culture.

How often do people order UberEATS instead of cooking or even driving to the shops? I’m not saying it’s always a bad thing—but at what point did we start replacing convenience with complacency?

Amazon changed the face of online shopping. eBay used to dominate, but we accepted “standard” international shipping times. Now, thanks to local dispatch centres, it’s not unusual to order something at breakfast and have it by dinner.

“Everything is available now. And people now expect it.”

Streaming services? Don’t get me started. How many are you subscribed to? And how many are you logged into that someone else pays for?

When I was a kid, the TV guide came with the weekend newspaper. One of the first things we’d check was:

What movies are on this weekend?
Terminator 2? That’s Saturday night sorted.

Now, we can Google “What streaming service is _ on?” and be watching within minutes.

The value is obvious—but the experience is fundamentally different. Anticipation has been replaced with abundance. And with abundance comes boredom. Quickly.

Get-fit-quick schemes

Even in the gym, I see the fingerprints of instant gratification. Discipline-based pursuits like fitness aren’t immune to shortcut culture.

The popularity of performance-enhancing drugs is growing. I’ve been training on and off for about 15 years now, yet I see young men and women, barely out of high school, already blasting whatever they can get their hands on—trying to reach physiques it used to take a decade to build.

“Discipline-based pursuits like fitness aren’t immune to shortcut culture.”

At what cost? The health risks are well known. The information is widely available. I’ve personally known two people who’ve died because of this lifestyle. And even if you do stop using, the long-term effects on your mental health can be heavy.

But the problem starts younger. On occasion, I’ll allow my five-year-old son a little screen time—usually when we’re somewhere inappropriate for a kid to be running wild. YouTube Kids is the poison of choice.

I’ve watched him. If he’s not entertained by one show, he’ll swipe. And swipe. And swipe. Until he finds the one that gives him that hit of dopamine.

Since becoming conscious of this, that screen time has been even more limited. Instead, we sit in uncomfortable boredom. Just as I did when I was a kid. And in that boredom? Imagination wakes up.

Shortcut culture in the workplace

Even in the world of work, instant gratification has made its mark. I work in management, and I’ve noticed a shift—particularly among younger employees. There’s this quiet pressure for rapid growth: fast promotions, bigger titles, more responsibility, sooner.

I get it. Who doesn’t want to move up quickly? But mastery takes time. Leadership takes failures. Career growth isn’t supposed to be a viral moment—it’s a slow, deliberate climb.

We don’t celebrate apprenticeships anymore. We don’t honour the long game. But maybe we should.

Dating in the era of the “App”

And then there’s dating. The apps. They need no introduction. We went from eHarmony to Tinder, Bumble, Hinge, and a dozen more. Create a profile, and start swiping.

It’s fun at first. You get some matches, go on a few dates. Sometimes it works. Often it doesn’t.

But are we slowly eroding something deeper? Previous generations had fewer partners and longer-lasting relationships. Was that because they settled? Or because they learned to put in the work?

Today, if there’s no immediate spark, many people move on. Because why not? Another match is always a swipe away.

“See more. Want more. Never satisfied.”

Over time, this leads to a subtle but powerful mindset: see more, want more, never satisfied. We overlook the small, real moments of connection. The ordinary acts of love. In their place, we chase what looks good online.

Until the relationship dissolves—one or both people dissatisfied with what they don’t have, instead of valuing what they do.

Self-awareness is key

This isn’t a call to cancel your apps, delete your streaming subscriptions, or throw out your phone. It’s just a reminder:

We weren’t built to live in a world of endless novelty.

Some things—like love, strength, skill, or inner peace—can’t be rushed. The things that matter most take time. They live in the space between impulses. They grow in boredom, in patience, and in the deliberate choice to stay the course.

So maybe the antidote isn’t rebellion, but resistance.

Slow down.

Feel the discomfort.

Let the imagination create again.

-TIM